reasons why i love 2013 p.1

This year was a year of new beginnings and new places and faces and usually those mean good things. And in my case, I definitely believe in the greater good. The glass, after all, is half full, and optimism is the key to open doors for opportunities. But this POSITIVITY wasn't always my mindset.

Memories sting and the past can be a very deceiving thing. I don't know how or why, but memories creep up on my spine and remind me that things can never be the same anymore, which distracts me from allowing myself to engrave my potential wherever I am. And then because of that crippled mindset and inability to do what I am called to do by God, I miss out on good things and on opportunities that can literally change my life.

This year, God taught me how to take those opportunities by giving me these challenges that taught me the importance of mindset and of learning to humble myself. God taught me the importance of keeping my feet on the ground and learning to love where I am and where He wants me to be.
Jim Elliot once said, "Wherever you are, be all there."
This year, I learned to be wherever He wants me to be.
So here I am, God. All 100% of me, always.


(Listen to this and this.)

(in the process of)

Repeat after me:

i am saved.

i am loved.

i am a masterpiece.

i will learn to be proud of myself

and who i am

because i am worth it

i am worth it.

ecclesiastes 7:10 *

i learned a lot of things over these past few difficult months.
one is to focus. to keep myself on track. because if i don't i miss out on opportunities. that's one thing i'd like to put out here tonight.

walk away from what God doesn't want you to do and fixate your eyes on his great plan for you. and that starts with getting priorities straight. i dont want any of you guys to feel this much regret. but i've got a whole lot of things ahead of me that i'm currently trying to focus on, so i'm not going to dwell on the past and my mistakes. i can't let them define me. so as of a week ago, i've been trying to appreciate the beauty of now. of the present. to calm these waters and finally get my sail up. my sail that signifies who i am and what i can do to redeem myself!!! i can doo thissss.

failure, though, is a little funny thing. it really does bring one down and everything, but once it does, it leaves. it's not something that's supposed to last for weeks or months or days. i know it's something that happens quickly. once it's gone, it leaves us with two options. we either pick ourselves up or involuntarily ask for a pity party by choosing to sit down and mope. so if ever you're kind of in that point where you don't know what to do, where you're almost at the verge of giving up? keep this self-memo:

"you are capable of so much more.

you are an eagle afraid to soar."

writing again.

life is a roller coaster.
each of us have our own tracks.
different events in our lives make up it's ups, downs, loops, drops and turns.
and God is our seatbelt.

life isn't the easiest and the sweetest thing either. if you look at perspective-- some people say it's a gift, some say it's a burden and some people don't know. but what i'm sure about is, that, yes - different things happen in our lives, and not all of them are entirely good. but all of these things that happen are part of our perfect plan that God has in store for each and e-v-e-ryone of us. and if you believe in Him and have faith in Him, who knows what surprises God has prepare for you in the future?

but it's important to remember that God doesn't work alone. if I don't even bother to care about the roller coaster track that God's given me, then what is the point of life?

am i really doing my best?
am i really doing the right thing?
what is my definition of good?
how has my life been, lately?

i guess it's about perspective. it always is. there are always unanswered questions, biases, our own perceptions and whatnot. well, whatever happens - i think i will never forget to keep in mind, that through the ups and downs of this huge, roller coaster ride, God is our seatbelt. God promises that he will keep us safe, but the ride itself isn't going to be easy.

I am of value, and so are you.

"Am I worth anything?"

"Do I live in this Earth just because?"

"Am I of value?"

"Does anyone love me?"

I think it's normal for us to ask ourselves these kinds of questions when we feel inferior. Not? Well in my case, I do. When there's a popular group in the school and they don't accept your differences? When people around you don't seem to listen to what you have to say? It's annoying. It makes me feel inferior, hence making me ask myself these questions. Then after that, my faith decreases and bitterness starts to grow inside of me. The idea makes me believe that I am nothing.

Well, if I could sum up that whole sequence of events into one word, it would be forgetting. When I ask myself these questions, I completely and totally forget. Forget what?

how is your relationship with God in terms of faith and confidence?

Here's a little activity for you before the actual post! (This isn't a riddle. Drop the logic!)

Imagine you are a botanist, a scientist that studies plants. One day while you are busy in your lab, it seems that you have discovered a new plant specimen that will most likely be able to benefit the world in many ways, in terms of medication and food. The plant specimen is not yet considered a plant...not after testing, that is. Your co-scientists challenge you to prove the so-called "invincibility" and "power" of the plant specimen you discovered by planting 100 seeds of the specimen in a hot, scorching desert where even cactus seem to suffer. After 3 months, the final report has arrived. How many of your 100 seeds have sprouted and lived properly? 

This little "test" determines your confidence in what you do and what you think. How many of your seedlings sprouted? Less than 50? Around 50? All one hundred of them? If your sprouted seeds counted less that 50, your confidence might need some work to come around! If you got around 50 seeds out of the ground, you must learn to be sure of yourself! If you got 100 seeds up, great! But do you ever cross the line with your self confidence?

Sometimes I doubt myself and forget what I am capable of. Sometimes I get carried away with my ego, that I can start placing myself in a higher position, and I start becoming all arrogant and stuff. Did you know that the bible talks about the two different ideas? 

Philippians 4:13

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Did you read that? "I can do all things...". Emphasize on 'all things'. God tells us that if we believe in Him and have faith in Him, nothing is impossible. If you do things for the glory of God, then He will forever be on your side! 

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.

I admit it, I can get carried away with my ego. I can get pretty vain and self conceited with my talents and my ideas. Sometimes if I depend too much on my ideas, I can end up on the wrong place. There are times when we have to lean on God too, and understand that He knows what's best for us. We shouldn't be arrogant with our talents and ideas. You know why? One simple answer: God gave them to us!

How, then are we able to do both? To balance our ego and to trust God no matter what? The best answer is to keep a good relationship with God by reading his word more, by going to Chruch every Sunday, and by praying all the time.

So this is just a little thing to talk about: how well is your relationship with God? How are things working out with you and Him? Have you been ignoring his ideas? Have you been worrying about your abilities? Maybe it's time to have a little walk to the park alone with Him, just to catch up.

Have a great week!

too much of everything is bad // everything?

Just a little post!

I overheard a conversation between a father and his eight-year old daughter the other day while I was eating sushi with my own dad. (Ha ha, what a familiar yet unique scene!) I think that the couple had the most inspiring and interesting conversation ever! Here's how it started:

I put this image here just because...he he

"Daddy, what will you tell me if I told you I will order more sushi?"

Her father thought hard. "I will tell you that you already had more than enough sushi," the father told his daughter, "too much of everything is not good."

I believe that the father was using the opportunity to educate his daughter with such wisdom.

The girl, playing along, said "Even water?", 

"Yes, too much water is not good for you."

"Even vegtables?"

"Yes."

"Even sitting?"

"Yes."

"Even standing?"

"Yes."

"Hmm...even crying?"

"Ha-ha, yes."

"Even singing?"

"Oh, yes."

"Even singing for God?"

"Oh, well..."

"Even loving God....NO! Even God's love! Is too much of God's love bad for us?"

BOOM. She hit the spot!! This made me wanna jump out my seat and shout "AMEN!!" That girl was on fire out there!

So what am I trying to say here? Too much of God's love is the jackpot! One can never get tired of God's love. It's like a different flavor of ice cream everyday, each with a surprise topping! God shows his love for you everyday in the simplest things in life. Early for work or school? There's God's love. Complimented by a friend or a school mate? There's God's love. Got some gifts? There's God's love! Something sad , annoying or enraging happens? There's the enemy, trying to distract us from seeing the light, from seeing God's love.

Have a God-love-filled week! You can never have too much!! :)

God's Blessings ☺

I couldn't help but add a smiley face on the title of this post! I just couldn't, because this week was {and will be} a heck load of fun and surprises. First off, my english teacher emailed me me back regards my paper, and I was so happy with her comments! She told me that the essay was (verbatim) "...easy read. Creative execution. Would love to read more." This really made me happy, and I think that God really blessed me with the focus and attention I put to this personal essay. 

P.S Almost all of the photos I post now will be watermarked! I know, even if the picture isn't artsy or even lovely at all, I just want to prevent the number of image grabbers I've been getting in the past few days. It's really getting on my nerves. I'm also sorry if you can't appreciate the picture because of my name in big letters sticking out! 

I don't know, its just that whenever I have my docs, I just have to take a picture of them!

Second blessing: I got late birthday gifts from my aunt Sharon, and you CANNOT believe how surprised I was when I opened them. I screamed!!! Literally. My aunt is just full of loveliness. Want to know what she gave me? Amazing stuff, that's what. And guess what? The stuff came from my w i s h l i s t here! I can't think of any creative way to present my gifts, so let me just show you pictures of the gifts from lightest to heaviest! (The same way she asked me to open the gifts. There were 3 packages.)

This is probably the cutest stuffed toy that I have. I love love love Totoro! ♥ Totoro now sleeps beside me every night. He's soooo cuddly and soft and I love to play with his eyes. 

More film! I will definitely save up for the class field trip that we're going to have in a few days. 

AND. 

THE GIFT.

THAT.

SURPRISED ME.

THE VERY MOST.

AND THAT ALMOST.

BROUGHT ME.

TO LEGITIMATE TEARS.

WAS THIS...

SX 70!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry for all of those exclamation points, but my Aunt went through all the trouble of ordering this camera with a leather bag for it just for me. I'm so overwhelmed as I type right now, I don't really know what to say! I can't believe that she actually got this camera for my 13th birthday, I just...It's lovely.

And if you're reading this {Tita} Sharon? (Tita is AUNT in my native tongue, Filipino) 

Maraming Salamat sa mga regalo na binigay mo para sa akin. Mahal na mahal kita! 

And God didn't stop there! My mom came home the same night I opened my gifts with a little package from another Aunt. I was shocked, stunned, surprised, overwhelmed, happy, jaw down and eyes wide at the package. It was ANOTHER camera! A LOMOgraphy camera, to be exact! An Action Sampler! 

Thanks Tita Pia! ;) I'm so thankful for a generous aunt like you! I love the gift, and you! ♥

This is the eleventh camera. Isn't it just full of loveliness? 

So the main thing of this post is what I realized when I posted the news on my Facebook. Lots of my friends were going all: "Lucky! Lucky!"

I'm not against it though, in fact I even liked the comments of my friends! But, this isn't luck. Two cameras in a day? Not luck at all. This is God. This is God conveying a message that He loves me, that He cares for me and that He IS there all the time. And this doesn't just go for me, it actually goes for everyone. 

God loves you, and he cares for you. He's there for you whenever you need him. I'm not promising all the blessings you wish for in days, but everyone will have a moment in their lives when everything will go just perfectly. In God's favor? Yes! Come to Christ first, then slowly and carefully observe your life as He starts coming to you.

Seeking the Light: Metamorphic-ally speaking

What keeps us from getting something done... say homework? Golly jeez, there's Facebook, Blogging, Tetris, reading and sleeping. A lot of things keep me preoccupied from the things I have to do. Now there are also a lot of things that can preoccupy us from seeking the Light, or seeking Jesus. Is it because we had a bad day? Is it because our faith needs strengthening? Is it because we have other gods? Is it because God isn't in the center of our heart?

Sometimes, our responses are like trees. Through the leaves and branches on a tree, you can see a bit of the sun. The light is there, but it flickers and dims regularly. Sometimes, it takes initiative, courage and responsibility to thrash down the branches to see the true light: the true brightness and the true mightiness of God. 

Crooked Paths

Here's a little blog entry for all of you. This is also a way (for me) to be able to make up for all of the useless thinking I've had in the past few days. It's about time I thought of something GOOD.

Image from Milica & Stefan

I worry about the littlest things in life. I panic. I get angry and stressed easily. I am a brat. Life is not going how it's supposed to be. I hate the world. There are times in my life when I feel as if I'm a pale rose, waiting to wither. When I read my Bible, though, I seem as if I have never been so alive. The word of God is so powerful, it's like a beaming light in dark cave. It's a new guided path for the lost. It's eyes for the blind. 

Photo from Michele

A few days ago, as I was browsing through my very old scrapbook, I landed unto this page that talked about the future. There, it said: "Me 20 years from now". Below was a drawing of me with a microphone performing to thousands of people. I laughed at the sight. I like the idea of reviving the old ideas that have already been crumpled and thrown into the bin.

I was just wondering, though. What will I really be 20 years from now? Will I be booming with business? Will I be rich from top to bottom? Will I be hiding? Will I fail? Will I have a family? Will I be unsuccessful? Will I seek for help? The questions started to pile up. 

Image from Marcia Martins

I was getting scared, then I decided to pray. What is my direction, God? Will I become a Journalist? Will I be able to have a happy family and support them? Will I make the right decisions? God gave me bible verses about direction. I thought that maybe I should share it with you today.

Isaiah 41:10 

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God;I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take

Amen! 

God loves me. God is loving. God is faithful. He will straighten all the crooked paths in my life because He is the lamp that lights my feet. He is a leader that will guide me all the way. He is a shield that will protect me beyond 20 years from now. He is God, and I am His. 

2012!

Lights! Fireworks! Food! Music! Family! Oh, the words that make up New Year's Eve are endless. A lot of things make me happy on the last day of the year. The idea that I got to survive the year, the idea that I'm with my family, the idea that God has blessed me so much...it's a twist and turn of ideas all at once! 

Now you know how a lot of people are going around saying that they hated 2011? Weeell.....I guess everyone has their reasons. This year was tiring.  This year had terrible downs but wonderful ups...Stress weighed me down until I was (literally) gritting my teeth, but God's blessings and his everlasting love kept my feet on the ground! 

Moving into a new school wasn't too easy for me. I have had the same school for 7 consecutive years, and it's difficult to say bye to my childhood friends. I was nervous! I realized that I wasn't going to be in the same grade as the grade I sat in with. I was going to be in a higher batch, which meant that I was going to be the youngest...and the shortest. When I first entered my homeroom classroom, I remember thinking: "Oh Lord, they're all so tall and big. What on earth am I going to do?" It wasn't easy to get along with kids older than me, because there is a huge gap between tweens and teens when it comes to maturity. I chose to respond to the situation in a quiet way. I knew that somehow and someday, I would get used to my new school. The memories of my old school haunted me for about a month, but sooner, I understood that I wouldn't go anywhere if I dwelled on the past. I decided to be more participative in school. I was able to make a lot of new friends, I made it into the tennis team, I got good grades, and I was elected to be in the student council. Is it luck or love? God is amazing!

Besides a topsy-turny year of events, this year was {also} a very self-discovering 365 days of my life. It was this year that I realized that I was sort of into photography (especially film photography) and God blessed me with EIGHT film cameras! I realized that vintage things were fascinating, and it was the year I got my Underwood Typewriter! This year I also discovered what a fashion flop I was. This Christmas, my dad decided to but me a pair of Doctor Martems. (*Squeal!* Another blessing and gift from God.) Now I feel like a model, ha ha.

I might sound like a fashion diva or whatever, but these look SO adorable with tights! I went to H&M and dad treated me to a shopping spree (Another gift from God!!) and I bought a pair of pink, blue, brown and black tights.

Last year was also the start of the (according to my dad) attitude test. *Gasp* Hehe, my dad makes it sound really scary. But sometimes it can REALLY get terrifying! I'm maturing, that's what everyone's telling me. They tell me "Be the same old Stella...the one that laughs a lot, the one that doesn't mind doing anything crazy, the one that doesn't care about what other people think..."I guess the comments can get really flattering! But honestly, I think that I've left behind the vain, pop-art loving "princess".  And NO WAY. I absolutely did NOT leave the "loud and proud" Stella behind...well, maybe not yet :)

You know what else happened this year? I opened my blog!!!! (I officially started blogging on August 2011)  I kind of figured out that blogging is the new thing. For me, it's the best way to express myself! I'm sure a lot of you agree with that.  I also got to meet a lot of awesome people like Elisha {hi pen-pal!}. 

Now I think it's pretty obvious that I don't get to blog everyday, so here's the thing :-) I was inspired by Elisha's day challenge to have a "Ask-Stella" sort of thing. Every week, I'll answer 3 interesting, different questions 100% honestly. You guys can ask me any questions you like, but if I don't get any questions in a week, I'll find a way to still be able to answer questions. 

The questions have to be interesting in such a way that I would be able to post photos about it.

But never mind, let's cross the bridge when we get there. Let's talk about it soon, this January.

Love forever and ever,

Stella

9 more days until I become an official teenager!

Reader, you've come a long way! Thanks for being interested in my life!